I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
