we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize