just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
