How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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