i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
