I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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