dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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