The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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