Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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