She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
