thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
