Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
