so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
