That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
