I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
