i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
