What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
