4 words: hood of his car
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
