this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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