actually, I'm a sock model
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize