i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
