i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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