I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
