how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
