he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize