Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
