I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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