Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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