You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize