I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
