I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize