I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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