This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
