please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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