I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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