As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize