two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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