just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
