dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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