South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
