Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
