oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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