people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
