you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
