Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You need Xanax blowdarts
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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