i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
