If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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