Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
