Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
