i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
