Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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