Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize