I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
