Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
