genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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