their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
