DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
