I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
