there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
