I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
