Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
