Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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