Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Randomize
